Wednesday, March 19, 2014


Ugh. Sorry I have been incommunicado. Work was super busy and then the last two weeks I have been battling the cold from hell that has just gotten worse and worse. I'm pretty sure I spent a grand total of maybe five hours not in bed this last weekend and four of those five were on the couch. I gave up pretending to work at noon on Friday and came home and went to bed. Of course the awful thing about colds is that you don't really sleep because you can't breathe. And then I got some sort of weird...pinched nerve maybe? My lower back/upper butt started killing me and my hips were stiff and painful and it radiated down my legs to my knees. Despite getting the good prescription nighttime cough syrup with codeine that calmed my violent coughing, I couldn't sleep because the pain was so bad and nothing I did helped.

Naturally, I assumed I had some sort of degenerative disc disease or something and spent most of the weekend contemplating how we would need to sell the house because I wouldn't be able to walk up stairs and we'd probably need to cancel the whole kid thing because I was going to become one of those people that needs to be doped to the gills with painkillers in order to barely function and would be in no shape to be taking care of anybody but myself.

And then by Monday afternoon the pain was pretty much gone. Which is good, as I would clearly make an insufferable chronic pain sufferer.

So the important stuff:

During the time I have been dying of either coughing or hip pain, we have gotten exactly nowhere on the homestudy front. We had the second home study almost three weeks ago and she (What do I call her, this lady who did our homestudy? I don't know the right terms for these things, or if we are going to be working with her or we keep working with the person who taught our classes or what. Information is definitely a bit spotty) indicated that she planned to get it done by the end of the following week. I waited almost two weeks, then emailed her last Thursday. I hate when I have to do that. I feel like such an impatient rudeass - I know that she is super busy and overworked and probably underpaid and it's not like our (potential, don't fall in love yet, Me!) kids are in a situation they have to get out of tomorrow...but don't tell me it'll take a week! Tell me you're freaking busy and I'm not important and you'll get to it when you damn well please.

So I emailed on Thursday (I also considered the possibility that she had emailed the previous week and entered my somewhat difficult to type email wrong and could possibly be waiting on me to respond and was wondering why I was so slow) and she emailed back and said she was trying to get it done and to her supervisor by the weekend and would let me know if there were any more delays.

Now it's a week later and I haven't heard anything from her.

So. Do I email her again, possibly being the annoying impatient potential foster mother who is going to drive the agency nuts with her constant pestering? Let's face it, I will be that person. I am pushy and loud and when I have kids I am going to be demanding everything I can for them in terms of services. But the homestudy is more about me than about the kids, so do I want to be that person NOW? Before they place kids with me? Because while I am pushy and loud, I also want to be LIKED.And she had a bit of a poker face, so I couldn't tell if she was terribly unimpressed with us and our half-assed answers, or if she thought I was awesome, which of course, I am. Clearly.

Who am I kidding? Of course I am going to email her, like, right now. I just have to hope that she gets my tone. I hear myself in my head when I write (there is clearly no editing going on in this blog, it goes down as I think it) but she might not hear the same thing when she reads it. There is a (fairly large possibility) that not only do I not come off as a compassionate person who understands that she is overloaded with work, but that I come off as slightly unhinged and erratic. I probably talk (write) too much. She doesn't need the explanation of why I was concerned about her having me email address wrong and how I am not trying to be rude and pushy and needy. Or does she? If I don't put it in, then am I just cold and demanding?

This would all be much easier if she would just email me while I am typing this blog post...


  1. Eh - you can put in a disclaimer with "sorry I'm being pushy, but I'm sure you understand how anxious I am about all this." It'll be OK.

  2. I like areyoukiddingme's idea. Hope you've heard back by now. Hang in there!