I bet you thought I was dead

Actually, you probably (maybe) don't know who the hell I am. But! if somehow you came over here from my old blog, you may have thought I had expired long ago into a puddle of wine and self pity.
Not so! (Very close, as I am good at both spilling wine on myself and rolling around in self-pity, but I failed to stay down. No, I got back up and decided to FIGHT!…after a year, year and a half, whatever. The point is, I am here now. Again.) After failing at the IVF that my husband A and I had saved up for (then lost all our savings for after he lost his job, then saved up for again) I really didn’t have any idea how to proceed. IVF was supposed to be (even though I knew the statistics) the golden ticket.
And after actually living the statistic and realizing that I was only a so-so responder who had a surprise low AMH, I just wasn’t willing to gamble again.

To make a long boring and plotless story short...we are now starting the process of adopting from foster care. We want to be parents.

-----So. That up there? That was the beginning of the post that I wrote yesterday. I was going to come back to writing today and finish it. I was going to write a few posts about what how we came to this conclusion, what we've done so far, the classes, the paperwork, the asking people to please write nice stuff about us and don't mention that time in college...

But I'm going to have to come back to that.

This morning I got a frantic call  - then text - then email from our caseworker, who said "I know you guys haven't even done your homestudy yet, but I want to email you information on these kids that just got sent to me. I think they'd be perfect for you guys."
If we decide we want to apply for them, she's willing to fast track our homestudy and get us approved. Like, soon. Like, I might have two kids next week. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know anything. Oh SHIT. I don't know ANYTHING.

 After waiting like 37 years to do IVF I felt like I (mostly) knew everything I needed to know going in.
This adopting thing? I'm still trying to figure that out. I might need another 7 or 12 years before I have read all the blogs and know what to expect.

Did I mention that once we decided to adopt that we rejected my mother's offer to pay for private infant adoption? And instead, go through the foster system? And unlike everyone in our classes, we're not interested in toddlers?

And that the two kids we might have soon are...teenagers?

Yup.

This should be exciting.